Role Model

This complete revelation just hit me the other day when I was driving on the 405 on the way to my precious daughter’s first-ever hockey game.  Yes, folks.  We dream of the day where we finally become a mom and bring a new life into this great vast planet, she (or he) is perfect and then they grow and find their own way, their own dislikes, their own music style, their own type of friend and roller hockey (I’m certain there will be a post on this topic eventually).  This sort of forced wake-up call that your child’s days of being a child move faster and faster every day and it makes you think…

Am I doing all the things right?

I’m a good mom, I feel like my best is enough.  Most days.  I work hard, and with focus, which helps me to set a strong example.  I cook good healthy food, give her tons of love, have random dance parties before bed, make sure she is surrounded by friends and family, sports, art, music, events, playdates… BUT I mess up and I know it. I’m sure on some level I  mess up daily.

This one day, I completely messed up River’s ponytail, I knew she would hate it, but we were running late and I left it anyway and didn’t offer to redo it 🙁 I was completely maxed out as a hairstylist at the moment.   Ok I know this isn’t a big deal, but to her it was.  From a childs perspective that is a pressing issue.

I’d like to also admit to the following: forgetting favorite snacks, being too tired to skateboard, ordering the whole neighborhood out of my house.  Wait, that part is not a mess up.  Freshly mopped floors are priceless, ten minutes of cleaning is worth it.  I digress, going back to my main point.  Presence is lacking, we are too booked, running on no breakfast, multitasking parents and it takes a toll on our kids.  Moms, Dads, parents, family friends, and even people without kids.  We have to set better examples.  I have many friends with kids. Some of them are incredible, tuned in, on top of their manners, etc, and then there are others who aren’t going to make the parents of the year list.   I’ll admit it, sometime’s I’m no picnic to be around.  However, I promise that I take note of it, the second my grumpy side lurks if the ugly face, I regret the actions I’ve taken to whomever it is.  Especially if it’s a child.  They’re so unaware of how we behave and why, therefore they have so many questions, so naturally, they seek us for answers, and it truly couldn’t be more flattering.  In my 405 Fwy revelation, I realized why I’m here.

• To set an example: lead the littles so they see who to be when they grow up.  Not what to be, that’s a whole other story.  If we show this type of kind, generous, and forgiving behavior, imagine what they can do in this world.  When we are old farts that will work out for us when those younger generations will be calling the shots when it comes to our sponge baths.
• Facilitate their needs: So basically fill the future emotional bank accounts of the needs of these little future badasses.  If I don’t focus and work my ass off today, I won’t be able to provide the things my daughter will need in the future.  Did you know the average college tuition to a four-year university is $34,740?  I don’t know about you, but that is a nice chunk per year I’m going to have to own up to. We’ve got this, right?!

That’s all. Just those two simple steps are the sure-fire way to create the most well-balanced human.   Kidding, obviously, children need so much more.  I just realized that at times we seem to move through life so fast, as parents and leaders we must think about every action we take before we take it.  I hate to admit it but, it took me a good portion of six hours to write this post.  Why?  Well, I was on a roll, fingers a blaze at the keyboard.  Then I had to stop, make dinner, homework, wash the dishes, mop the floor (or I will strongly dislike myself all week).  Giggle in bed for a bit, talk about Spring Break is over, convince my daughter to go to sleep, try not to fall asleep, instead grab the laptop, and then boom, I’m back.

I’m glad to be a parent in this day and age.  Yes, we have many unique obstacles and choices to make as to not raise poor quality humans (eh hem) it just comes back to basics.  Kindness, love, and presence.

I get up at 4:30 am, the world is quiet, there is an incredible amount of uninterrupted silence.  I can focus on myself, maybe run, maybe write.  Who knows, maybe even take a long shower and take my time to get ready for work.  For the record…my favorite job description is mom.